What a piece, Mike! This is what's it's all about! I love it when poetry takes a thrust toward the deeper parts of the human condition. And you've done so well here. The stark contrast between beginning and end is masterful. Oh, and what a splendid idea it was to preserve the shape of the poem itself with an image. Using the literal shape of the poem only enhances the artistry and, in this case, exemplifies the contrast by funneling down, only to open up again. There's the sense that it could just keep going, keep opening up. It strikes me as a sort of rebirth, which -to me- makes perfect sense when a person leaves the heavy weight of shame (and its dense black rain) behind.
Beautifully done, sir!
A couple of my favourite lines: "each one scolding woefully" ... "All the tears, all the laughs, every strain of happiness".
What a piece, Mike! This is what's it's all about! I love it when poetry takes a thrust toward the deeper parts of the human condition. And you've done so well here. The stark contrast between beginning and end is masterful. Oh, and what a splendid idea it was to preserve the shape of the poem itself with an image. Using the literal shape of the poem only enhances the artistry and, in this case, exemplifies the contrast by funneling down, only to open up again. There's the sense that it could just keep going, keep opening up. It strikes me as a sort of rebirth, which -to me- makes perfect sense when a person leaves the heavy weight of shame (and its dense black rain) behind.
Beautifully done, sir!
A couple of my favourite lines: "each one scolding woefully" ... "All the tears, all the laughs, every strain of happiness".
Excellent words and graphic!
Shame
Is a game
Someone played
You came
And were played.
It's an emotion
Not innate
Mate.